Top Five Rules to Implement on Public Transit

Posted by Cynical Sarah on June 13, 2006

5. All patrons must wear deoderant.
There’s nothing worse than being trapped in an enclosed space with someone with bad B-O. It would save them a lot of embarrassment and the rest of us the trouble of trying to remain inconspicuous as we find ways to block the smell from assaulting our senses.
4. Backpacks must be [...]

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Man Beat Down by Old Ladies at Casino

Posted by Cynical Sarah on June 12, 2006

A Boulder, Colo., man was found beaten outside the Black Hawk Casino in the Rocky Mountains after being attacked by a group of senior citizens. The women were upset about Ernest Alivero’s fortune playing the slot machines at the casino while they’d been sitting there all day with no luck.

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Tags: gambling, humor, Satire

Cursed Tongue: Lament of the Lumpy Yogurt

Posted by CursedTongue on June 11, 2006

When we were looking for a house, I was hoping to discover something much closer to our apartment than the area where we found a house that looked easier to fix-up than burn to the ground and start over. I held out hope for a decent house in that area, not only because it was fairly close to my husband’s job, but also because we’d gotten to know our surroundings.

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Teen girl devastated after star’s plastic surgery

Posted by Cynical Sarah on June 10, 2006

Ashlee Simpson hasn’t just changed her face, she’s dashed the hopes and dreams of one teen in rural Texas. Leslie Anne Goren had finally gotten the plastic surgery she wanted to look like her favorite star and now Simpson has ruined it by going under the knife herself.

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Tags: celebrity, humor, Satire

Cursed Tongue: Numero Wrongo

Posted by CursedTongue on June 7, 2006

I feel like an official Arizonian. I got my first wrong number in Spanish. Of course, I knew the caller from Armando’s household had probably misdialed, as soon as I saw his name pop up on the caller id. But instead of risking guilt over a confused message left on my machine, I decided it would be better to simply answer.

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Top Ten Things to Do with Marshmallows

Posted by Cynical Sarah on June 5, 2006

10. Melt and caulk your tub with it.
9. Create flaming projectiles that will stick to anything. (If only they’d known in medieval times. Imagine what they could have done with catapults then!)
8. Create miniature snowmen when snow isn’t available.
7. Save them for 50 years and still be able to eat them. They may be a [...]

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Tags: humor, marshmallows

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