Cursed Tongue: Gliese 581c: Great Starter Planet

Posted by CursedTongue on May 20, 2007

Astrotastic news, Dear Readers! Scientists found a planet within a convenient 20.5 light years of Earth. A spacious 984,675,000 square miles, this planet comfortably seats 30 billion. Move-in condition with temperatures ranging from 0 and 40 degrees Celsius, this extrasolar gem may contain liquid water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, and for American news outlets too lazy to convert that’s between 32 and 104 degrees Fahrenheit.)

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Tags: humor, news, science

Flopping the Nuts

Posted by Cynical Sarah on May 18, 2007

When not busy being a cynical citizen of the word, my day job is in the poker industry writing poker news and editing poker content for a Web site. I’ve played poker socially for years – it’s practically a staple at family get-togethers – but I never imagined how big a business it has become.

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Tags: humor, poker

Cursed Tongue: Further Proof that Critics Are Full of Crap

Posted by CursedTongue on May 16, 2007

Last week Cary-Grove High School senior Allen Lee was arrested for a free writing exercise, assigned by his English teacher. Students were instructed by teacher Nora Capron to write whatever came to mind, without going back to make corrections or censoring themselves.

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Mani/Pedi Cure for the Soul

Posted by Cynical Sarah on May 14, 2007

There have been many, many times – so many its unbelievable – when I’ve heard stories or had things happen that left me saying “I hate people,” or “People suck.” How many times have we all had to deal with crappy bosses, or unfair situations or cashiers in stores that have no clue what they’re doing?

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Cursed Tongue: Dear Drunken Celebrity Driver,

Posted by CursedTongue on May 12, 2007

So, you’ve managed to wrap your Bentley around a tree and survive. Don’t even try to flee on foot. Take the advice of veteran celebrity drunk driver Andy Dick. Smoking pot does not make you run faster or jump higher than the LAPD. Especially if you have the spindly physique of a nerdy comedian.

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Tags: celebrities, humor

Better Late Than Never

Posted by Cynical Sarah on May 10, 2007

I’m a little late getting back into the swing of regular life again and getting my column and Web site updated. That’s what vacation will do to you though. I may have had a whole week to relax and recharge, but that doesn’t make it any easier to return to real life.
So here I am, [...]

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Tags: humor, travel, vacation

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