A Collection Gone Wild

Posted by Cynical Sarah on July 10, 2006

Just about everyone has a collection of something. Whether it’s a type of book they like, music cds, movies, watches, posters, you name it, everyone collects something.

My collection started out as an innocent observation that I like elephants. I bought a little elephant figurine and the next thing you know, I’m a collector. I had no idea how crazy my collection had become until I was unpacking boxes again this past week.

My parents came for a visit and were nice enough to deliver the rest of my stuff that was still in storage back in South Dakota. Even after having whittled down the amount of crap I was bringing with me to Vancouver, I still ended up with a tremendous amount of boxes full of miscellaneous crap, including a full box of elephants of every variety.

I have elephant candles, elephant figurines, stone elephants, elephant pictures, stuffed elephants and even an elephant note pad and jewelry. My collection has grown to wild proportions and I could repopulate the elephant world if I had the magical ability to make them real.

I think it’s time for some of these elephants to be released to new homes. The problem is a lot of them were gifts. Everyone who knows that elephants are my favorite animal has managed to give me some sort of elephant over the years.

I’ve got a gold elephant belt as a thank you gift for being a part of my cousin’s wedding. You read it right, a gold-tone, elephant belt. I like elephants, but prefer not to emphasize my waistline with a whole, gaudy string of them around it.

But of course, I couldn’t just get rid of it. Nope, I still have it tucked a way somewhere in the hopes that maybe I’ll come up with a project someday that requires metallic elephants. It’s been several years. I may be time to give up on that idea.

I’ve also got about five elephant candles, two of which are the same candle even that I was given by two different people. It was with a little bit of guilty pleasure that I finally lit one of those suckers. It was a little bit sad to see the elephant melting away, but at the same time, there was a sense of freedom about it.

I don’t have to keep every little elephant that’s given to me. It’s ok for me to light the candle ones – that’s what they were made for. If I’ve got one or two too many stuffed elephants, it’s ok to find them new homes where hopefully some kid will give them the attention they were made for too.

The figurines and stone elephants and such are harder to figure out what to do with. Unless there are other collectors out there, it’s not so easy to get rid of them, and I refuse to throw them away. I’ll probably end up finding a way to display most of them, and hopefully people are starting to get the message that I don’t necessarily need everything with elephants that’s made in the world.

I’ve tried to emphasize the past few years that I’m not interested in just any elephant someone stumbles across. I really have no need for another stuffed elephant in my life. However, if they see a fun and unique elephant, of course, I’d appreciate adding it to my collection.

But it’s time to rein the collection in. I’ve watched enough house makeover shows to realize that people aren’t always going to appreciate a massive wall full of elephants. It’s much more tasteful to have a few special ones out on display. Just ask the crew from Trading Spaces, While You Were Out, or even Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It’s just not cool to overdo it when it comes to a collection.

Plus, instead of the crazy lady who collects cat figurines, I’d end up being the crazy elephant lady – and that’s certainly not a label I’m willing to live with.

- Sarah L. Polson

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