Aerosmith Mystery Surgery Revealed

Posted by Cynical Sarah on March 12, 2006

Millions of fans were disappointed to hear that Aerosmith was cancelling the rest of its Rockin’ the Joint tour for 2006. The reason given is that Steven Tyler is having surgery on his throat and will need several months to recover.

“That’s just what they want you to think though,” said a close friend of the Tyler family. “Steven’s surgery is actually for something much more serious.”

During a rehearsal for an upcoming concert, Tyler injured himself. He was doing one of his patented leg kicks and broke his hip.

Normally a kick like that shouldn’t break a hip, but Tyler was really into the performance and put a little more power behind it than he should have. His hip snapped and he ended up writhing around on the ground in pain.

“At first we didn’t realize that he’d hurt himself. He was writhing and jerking with the microphone on the floor just like any other performance,” said bandmember Tom Hamilton. “It wasn’t until his screams didn’t match up with the music anymore that we realized something was wrong.”

Tyler was taken to the hospital where doctors discovered the broken bone.

“He was so embarrassed,” said the friend. “He turns 58 this Sunday and doesn’t want people to start thinking he’s old.”

That’s why Aerosmiths pr people created the throat surgery story to cover up his upcoming hip replacement surgery. Both surgeries have about the same recovery time.

“It’s a plausible story considering the beating Tyler’s voice takes. Plus it means he won’t have to do anything with the media while he recovers because he has to rest his throat, so nobody will see the real truth,” said the friend.

Tyler and his pr people are denying the cover-up and assure fans that Tyler is just having throat problems and will be fine.

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