Bounty Hunter Interrupts Award Ceremony

Posted by Cynical Sarah on March 26, 2006

Academy Award show viewers were treated to a preview of a future “Dog the Bounty Hunter” episode Sunday night when Dog interrupted the ceremony to take a presenter into custody. The show’s producers and the audience were totally taken by surprise when Michael Moore was captured by Duane “Dog” Chapman while on his way to present an award.

“It was the best shot we had at him,” Dog said. “We knew he’d be unarmed and wouldn’t put up too much of a fight on national television.”

The bounty hunters were put on Moore’s trail after he jumped bail in Hawaii. He had been arrested for harassing Dole Plantation workers and trespassing in the pineapple fields in Hawaii.

Moore was doing some of the groundwork for his new documentary about how Dole will be leaving the whole state of Hawaii with a huge income gap when they pull their pineapple industry from the state. After several attempts to talk to executives at the plantation and harassing workers, the police were called and Moore was arrested.

“He posted bail through us and then left for the Academy Awards before making his required court appearance,” said Beth Smith, Dog’s wife and fellow bounty hunter. “It doesn’t matter who you are or how far you run – if you run from the law, the Dog will hunt you down.”

Dog and his team put a lot of planning and thought into this bust, which was made more difficult by the high profile of the Academy Awards.

“Lucky for us, our television show gave us enough clout to get tickets to the award show. We did avoid the red carpet to avoid tipping Moore off though,” Dog said. “I had to get dressed up in a monkey suit but Beth looks great in her leather bustier and skirt. She’s been looking for a good excuse to wear her fancy clothes.”

Dog, his wife and two other members of his team managed to get into the award show and strategically place themselves in position to capture Moore.

“I looked kinda like security anyway with my body crammed into a tux. It was easy to make my way close to the stage,” Dog said. “Then it was just a matter of waiting for Moore to have his turn at the podium.”

As Moore came on stage with Teri Hatcher to present an award, Beth pulled Hatcher away while Dog attempted to capture Moore. Millions of viewers watched as Moore was tackled and then pepper sprayed when he started to struggle to get away.

“I hated to do it like that, but it really was the only opportunity we were going to have to capture him. The guy runs around with practically his own secret service unit because he’s into so much government and corporate conspiracy crap,” Dog said.

As Dog hauled him away, he could be heard giving Moore his usual advice.

“Be polite when we go turn you in to the police. If you’re nice and treat them with respect, they’ll treat you ok too. And don’t let this get you down. I’ve been down this road before brudda. You have to rise above it, get your life straightened out and do something good.”

Moore will be transported back to Hawaii where he will face his harassment and trespassing charges. He may also be facing fines from the Federal Communications Commission after saying the “F” word on live television after being pepper sprayed.

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Tags: humor, Satire

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