Britney Spears Gets Audience with Pope

Posted by Cynical Sarah on March 4, 2007

She’s tried everything else to get her life in order, now Britney Spears is trying a little extra divine intervention by visiting the Pope. She made a quick trip to the Vatican over the weekend to see him and to submit a few things to the prayer list.

Spears recently got out of a month in rehab after a week of party binging, getting a tattoo and shaving her head. Many are calling it a “breakdown,” after having two kids so close together and now going through a divorce.

“Rehab was her first step to getting better again,” said Spears’ agent. “Now she’s also returning to her religious roots and looking for help from god.”

During her meeting with the Pope, Spears received a blessing and then gave the Pope her prayer list for the Pope to ask god for help with during prayers.

According to her agent, the list contained:

• Help for the children of Darfur
• Help for Spears’ to find her balance again
• Food for the starving children in Africa
• An end to communism
• Peace in Iraq

“She has some very noble things on that list,” said one papal aide. “There is the one selfish wish, which we normally try to avoid having people submit, but Britney has had such a hard time lately that it was allowed. A blessing from the Pope is supposed to cover that so it doesn’t have to be on the prayer list.”

Spears got the idea to visit the Pope after hearing about Don King’s visit last week.

Spears flew back to the United States shortly after her audience with the Pope. She wanted to get back to her family and children as quickly as possible.

“It’s important to me to be with my family right now. Kevin has stepped in and taken care of our sons while I’ve been recovering, but they need their mother,” Spears said.

Rumor has it that Spears is worried she may lose custody of her children because of her recent partying and problems. One thing on her prayer list not released by her agent is probably a plea to be able to keep her kids.

“It could take intervention from a higher power to make that happen at this point,” said a legal expert. “Federline has a good case to gain sole custody if he wants it. It will take a lot of effort and help from Britney’s parents and friends now to convince a court she is still fit for full-time motherhood.”

Filed Under: Satire - Comments: Be the First to Comment

Tags: celebrities, humor, Satire

top