Cursed Tongue: What’s Your Damage?

Posted by CursedTongue on September 11, 2008

Last week I brought my recycling bin in early. Unusual for me, and exciting information for my reading audience, I know. But it was a good thing. About two hours after the waste removal professional dispatched my plastic empties, tin cans and toilet paper rolls, the wind whipped into a frenzy.

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Tags: humor, landscaping, marriage

Cursed Tongue: Glassholes

Posted by CursedTongue on July 24, 2008

Glasshole: 1. A puncture in the fabric of space/time, which drains the property value of a neighborhood. Often caused by shards of broken domestic beer bottles.

2. Person who tosses glass bottles on sidewalks and in common areas.

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Tags: humor

Cursed Tongue: Adventures in Jurisimprudence: Bearing Witless, Part 2

Posted by CursedTongue on July 3, 2008

On last week’s episode we left Jessica, Lisa and young Britney in the kitchen with a crazed and hostile Clint who has a gun that is in a glove, a holster or uncovered, depending on who was testifying.  The 911 operator is waiting for Susan to return with an address.
Clint was the last witness on [...]

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Tags: humor, jury duty

Cursed Tongue: Adventures in Jurisimprudence: Bearing Witless, Part 1

Posted by CursedTongue on June 19, 2008

Passing through the doors into courtroom I crawl into the skin of Juror #6, emotionally reserved and attentive, as opposed to dramatic and flighty. Like a Lifetime movie, the trial has everything: a love triangle, a hunky young state prosecutor with hypnotic ties, a cherubic blond 7 year-old witness, a gun that may or may not have been in a glove or holster and four people with a dubious grasp on the concept of being role models for their children. As an added bonus, this case even dabbled in the ramifications of the Information Age.

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Tags: humor, jury duty

Cursed Tongue: Hello, Creepy Stranger!

Posted by CursedTongue on May 15, 2008

There was a strange guy standing on the curb across from the park this morning. He had a stack of big white envelopes or folded papers. Abruptly knocked from the serenity of my morning walk, I bristled at the nerve of this stranger and launched into alert city girl mode.

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Cursed Tongue: Tall Hair Brings FLDS Closer to God

Posted by CursedTongue on April 24, 2008

The raid on the Yearning For Zion (YFZ) Ranch sheds light on one of the seemingly inherent horrors of religious repression:  the crimes of fashion on religious compounds.
Sure, you can’t have a nun without a habit, a Buddhist monk without an orange robe, or a rabbi without a black suit and hat.  But any religion [...]

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Tags: humor

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