Preview of Bush’s State of the Union Address

Posted by Cynical Sarah on January 9, 2006

President George W. Bush is scheduled to give his annual State of the Union Address tonight. We all know there will be some mention of the economy, the war in Iraq and the war on terrorism. What you may not know are the details of his “plans for the future.” I’ve got a little preview of a few points.

1) Alternative energy sources. President Bush saw a revolutionary tv show called “The Flintstones” and is now exploring more feet powered vehicles. Bicycles were a good start, but then the population drifted away from that idea instead to gas powered vehicles. He’s looking at getting back to the basics and harnessing this source of power instead of spending money on research into hydrogen power or all those other “fru-fru green people ideas.” He’s already started analysts looking into other ideas from the show such as pelican garbage cans and elephant dishwashers which would be much more eco-friendly.

2) Health care. Instead of scrapping the whole crappy system that’s sucking the people dry through private insurance and complicated programs like Medicare, HMOs and the Veteran Hospitals, Bush has a revalutionary new plan that would get everybody on the same healthcare plan. He wants to implement involuntary service into the military. Everyone would have to serve at least four years in the military upon turning 18. Then they would all be in the VA system for health care.

It would allow him to save money by scrapping Medicare and force private health insurance costs down. The government can then focus on making just the VA system better.

It would also solve the problem the Army is having with not enough troops to keep operations going in Iraq and Afghanistan and still maintain bases in the U.S. They wouldn’t have to “stop-loss” so many people and force them to serve longer.

3) Wrapping up the war in Iraq.As stated in number two, there would be an increase in troops from a new involuntary service system. Bush will be able to flood Iraq with troops to really dominate and preside over the country long enough to get the new government settled in and ge the people calmed down. But more people isn’t his only plan to bring peace to Iraq. He wants to start an exchange program that would bring thousands of Iraqis to the U.S. and thousands of Americans to Iraq so the Iraqi people will learn to like Americans and get used to having them around. He said that they just need to see what nice people we really are so they can understand we’re just trying to help them get a better government and a better way of life.

4) Boosting the economy. Soon it’ll be time to start rolling out more government contracts to help rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan. The wars have already helped many weapons companies get back on their feet, not it’s time to help the peacetime industries. This was all part of Bush’s original 8 year plan when he entered office. But now the pressure is on for him to move to this second phase, the rebuilding, before other countries get involved and want in on the contracts and money too.

He also wants even more incentives for small businesses on the homefront. The past few years he’s tried to address this issue and get legislation passed that helps small businesses grow and encourages more people to start their own business. Not enough has been done. It’s time to take over completely. A government office will be set up that analyzes areas in cities and determines what kind of stores will thrive there. They will get it all set up, provide the investment capital and then have a lottery to find the new lucky owner of the business. According to the President it’s a no-lose way to help economic growth in targeted areas.

5) Improving overall happiness. Bush is concerned about the rising cases of depression, both mild and serious, in the U.S. It’s time the government took action to raise the nation’s spirits. There are a couple steps he wants to take to make people happier besides the plans he’s already laid out to help the nation in other ways. He wants to start requiring businesses to give employees at least 4 weeks of paid vacation each year. The norm is 2 weeks for full-time entry-level employees. Bush would extend that to 4 years and make that for part-time employees also. His theory is that Americans don’t get enough playtime and we’ve become too work-oriented.

The second part of his plan is to provide more amusement destinations for people to travel to in the U.S. so they’ll have something to do with their new vacation time. The plan includes setting up an amusement park at Mount Rushmore to make it more fun for kids. Each state would also be given funding to set up amusement parks, zoos and resorts. He wants to encourage Americans to stay in the U.S. for their vacations so that they’re spending their hard-earned American dollars in America and helping keep the economy up.

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