Soft, Fuzzy Bridebunny

Posted by Cynical Sarah on September 25, 2006

I have a wedding coming up in just a few days. Just a few days as in this Saturday I will be putting on a bridal gown and going through the whole ceremony thing to get married.

I’ve been trying to be laid back about the whole thing and avoid being a bridezilla. Not that I ever would be a bridezilla since I had fully expected to elope and get married until I met my husband. I kind of got what I wanted, but it was with the condition that we would have a real wedding later on.

Yes, I found one of those rare breeds of man on the planet that actually wants to have a wedding. It’s not even so much that he wants a wedding, but he wants the big reception, a.k.a. party with his friends, afterwards.

So I’ve been trying to get this thing planned and all the details taken care of in a way that’s the least amount of stress on me. That means I’ve cut out a lot of the “traditional” things that most people think you have to do for a wedding.

We aren’t having a wedding cake. I know, everybody wants a cake, but the restaurant we’re using to host our event has some great desserts, and it just seemed a waste to offer both. Plus neither Troy nor I really care about the whole cake cutting ceremony.

We’re also not doing elaborate floral arrangements for every table. Call me cheap, but it seemed pretty nice that we could just deliver some flowers to the restaurant and they would put them in vases on the tables for us. I did give in and order an arrangement for the head table and we’ve got all sorts of boutonnieres, corsages and bouquets.

I’m also not bothering with the whole something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue thing. Nor do I plan on a severely formal hair style like a French twist like a traditional, formal bride would normally have.
As my husband pointed out to me today, you could say that the theme of our wedding is about going against tradition.

This is supposed to be our special day, so why would I want to waste time with all sorts of traditions that neither one of us really cares about? What we do care about is people sharing in our day and having a good time.

That can be achieved without fancy hair, without a fancy cake, and without me borrowing something used just to fulfill a tradition. It can be achieved with a simple ceremony where I get to wear a great dress and look pretty, followed by a nice dinner, some wine, and music. It’s really as simple as that so I don’t know why it has to be a big deal.

Somehow that “big deal” part is getting internalized though. This weekend alone I’ve had two dreams about missing my hair appointment as well as ending up yelling at people who keep giving me a hard time about my lack of tradition or enthusiasm for the event.

I shouldn’t say lack of enthusiasm. I’m excited for the day, and looking forward to my family and friends being in town and getting to have fun with them. But I’m not obsessive about the actual wedding and the details. I’m more laid back about it and just assuming that it’ll all be fine, and if something isn’t quite right, oh well.

I suppose that makes me the opposite of whatever a bridezilla is. Would that be a bride-elmo, or perhaps a bridebunny?

Several people have commented on that fact in the past few weeks. Telling me I, or we if my husband and I happen to be together at the time, seem so calm about things. My own best friend commented on my lack of respect for tradition as a sign that maybe I’m just not into the whole wedding thing as much as I should be.

Is there a certain level of enthusiasm a person has to have to be a “real” bride? I honestly think I’ll probably have more fun and enjoy our special wedding day more than most other brides do just because I’ve been more laid back about it.

I’m not so focused on it being perfect so much as it being fun for everyone who can make it. I don’t have to be overly stressed, and I don’t have these unrealistic expectations of what the day should be like. The day doesn’t have to live up to anything for me, and I just have to relax and enjoy it.

- Sarah L. Polson

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