Cursed Tongue: Dying of Consumption

Posted by CursedTongue on July 1, 2007

Is China exporting substandard goods as a painful, lengthy form of low-level warfare? In the past six months the U.S. has received tainted dog food ingredients, tainted discount store toothpaste, Thomas the Tank Engine toys painted with lead paint, tires with inconveniently omitted gum strips securing the tread and culinary torches that leak butane. The laundry list continues, but I’m sure you have other things to do today.

Filed Under: Cursed Tongue, Guest Blog - Comments: Be the First to Comment

Tags: health, humor, politics

Cursed Tongue: Short Shrift Grift

Posted by CursedTongue on June 16, 2007

Despite making little progress on the business of policymaking, the Iraqi Parliament has decided to break for the entire month of August. Tony Snow felt he needed to defend the politicians, “You know, it’s 130 degrees in Baghdad in August.”

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Tags: humor, politics

Is That a Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Posted by Cynical Sarah on April 3, 2007

Congress is on the verge of approving a bill that will give President Bush another $100 billion for the war in Iraq, but it has one very important string attached. As the House and Senate hammer out differences in the bill before sending it up to the President, it is expected to contain a deadline for pulling out troops and putting an end to the war.

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Tags: humor, politics

Presidential Mix-Up Puts Hummus on Banned List

Posted by Cynical Sarah on March 16, 2007

American citizens will have to go without their tasty chickpea dip for a while as President George Bush has put hummus on the terrorist watch list in the nation.

Filed Under: Satire - Comments: Be the First to Comment

Tags: humor, politics, Satire

Cursed Tongue: Signless Spring

Posted by CursedTongue on March 10, 2007

Last Tuesday the Scottsdale city council voted to ban temporary street signs. Temporary street signs plague Arizona like no other place I’ve ever lived.

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Tags: humor, politics

Cursed Tongue: Cloudy, with a Chance of Apocalypse

Posted by CursedTongue on January 6, 2007

I demand an apology from Al Gore for wearing a sandwich board that says, “The End is Near,” and mumbling incoherently in front of a PowerPoint presentation. After the record high summer, I was honestly worried about my relatives on the coasts. But now the gates of Hell have slammed shut and frozen over.

Filed Under: Cursed Tongue, Guest Blog - Comments: Be the First to Comment

Tags: humor, politics, weather

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