Top Five Odd News Items of the Week

Posted by Cynical Sarah on December 2, 2006

5. Santa forced to don hardhat in Scotland

You know it’s been a bad year around the world when children start turning on Santa and pelting him with mince pies as he hands out candy. Santa is supposed to be the one thing a kid can always be happy about.

4. Chinese PhD students add more humbug to Christmas

Ten doctoral students have put up an online petition to stop the spread of western Christmas traditions in China. Who in their right mind tries to ban something that can brighten up a person’s life once a year? Oh yeah, communist China. And for that matter, the U.S. – I still can’t believe they passed a law meant to stop people from gambling online. In both cases, it’s not like it’s going to bring down the entire society to let people have a little fun.

3. Baby put through x-ray machine at Los Angeles Airport

Holiday travel just got a whole lot more complicated apparently. Or maybe the whole system has just become to complicated, especially for this grandmother who got confused and sent her grandkid through the x-ray machine. The kid is fine, but something tells me he’ll either end up with some weird super-human powers later in life, or perhaps just an odd fear of airports and microwaves.

2. New York City man buys Christmas poem for $280,000

A businessman paid $280,000 for an original 1860 handwritten copy of the classic holiday poem that begins “‘Twas the night before Christmas” and read it for friends at a party. Some people will do anything, or spend any amount, to try to get in the holiday spirit. A holiday home in Hawaii would have probably been more appealing to me, but you know, whatever you gotta do.

1. Virgin Komodo Dragon set to give birth

Just when you thought the real meaning of Christmas was lost, a large, butt-ugly lizard goes and gets knocked up without the help of a male to prove that miracles do happen. Happy Birthday Jesus, you’re about to have lots of miracle lizard buddies to share in your experience.

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Tags: christmas, humor, news

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