Top Five Odd News Items of the Week

Posted by Cynical Sarah on November 1, 2006

5. Michael Richards makes racist comments during show

I’m guessing that to become a successful actor or entertainer, a person must be lacking in a certain common sense gene. What else could explain the Mel Gibson Jew incident and now Richards’ racial tirade on stage during a stand up performance? Add to that that Richards tried to make an apology for it on Letterman, and it’s just complete lunacy.

4. Nearly 200 strays rescued from woman’s house

News sources said the woman just kept taking in strays and never getting rid of any. People even started to take advantage of the elderly woman by dropping off unwanted dogs at her home or near it knowing she would take them in. Most elderly people can barely afford food and medication for themselves, so I’m curious how this woman managed to feed 150 to 200 dogs on a daily basis. Sometimes being big-hearted just isn’t enough – as evidenced by the Humane Society finally stepping in and freeing her from her self-made doggy hell. (Special kudos to my Mom for fostering one of them so it doesn’t sit in an overcrowded shelter too.)

3. Midnight zamboni run prompts firings

This one goes out to all the Canadians out there, and the three hockey fans living in the United States. Two guys had the munchies and decided to take the zambonis out for a spin to get a bite to eat at the Burger King drive through. I’m guessing that flame-broiled burger wasn’t worth losing the most coveted rink job in the world over.

2. Woman claims cat gave birth to puppies

Perhaps we’re a little too cerebral here in developed countries, but I’m pretty sure there is some genetic impossibility to a cat having puppies. You would have to really be willing to blindly believe to think that it’s possible, or a bit uneducated. Still, even the skeptics didn’t just scoff in disbelief, they actually had an official test done to make sure.

1. Porn helps bring panda breeding success rate up

There’s really not much more you can say about that. They play porn for pandas and it helps them breed. There are a lot of humans that have already figured out that little secret to life.

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